Suicide

Suicide

I didn’t like the life we had. I had a new family, new job, new town…and it wasn’t like it should’ve been. We worked opposing shifts and never got to see each other.

I was given the opportunity to move down here and work for the family business. All would change, I hoped. But also, I’d get to know my grandfather. He was one of those people that you could know for years, spend hours and days with and yet know that you’d seen practically nothing they’d had to offer. This excitement and wonder was the tangible reason I moved back; it was what I coveted. I hoped for a dream of a happy marriage and fruitful life, but dreams are often difficult to understand. But I was excited about getting to know my grandfather.

After a month of being here he was diagnosed with a very rare, very aggressive and nearly untreatable cancer. He died shortly after, on Mother’s Day, 1997.

I had hardly spoken to him as a man.

Dante has something that my grandfather had. Justin’s mom, too. Wardo’s baby too. They’re fighters, they want to live. Whatever happens, they fought.

In the case of my grandfather and I also believe Justin’s mother, they knew how important they were to others. They knew the value of their lives. But Wardo’s baby and Dante both, at their fragile state, have something so virile and solid about life: the fight, the desire.

A 20 year-old student leapt from the 4th floor of the Student Union at the University of Arizona on Sunday night. I was walking to class early Monday morning as I always do, but my path, through the Union, was closed.

This kid committed the most selfish of acts. One where the individual only sees how they feel. Everything is about them, nobody else; they encompass all. To this person, there is no one else, just them, their feelings. No one can understand, they’re alone…and they take themselves from the rest so they can be exactly one. No more. Alone. Forever.

So to this person I say, good job, well executed plan. You’ve deeply wounded your family and friends, but at least your life ended young while your reach was still short.

He threw it all away when so many fight for just a chance.